Zombies!

So I went to see Zombieland with my dad. Fun stuff. Not a great movie, but highly entertaining. Bill Murray had a pretty good cameo. They ask him, "Any regrets?" And he replies, "Maybe Garfield." Funny!

Someone recently started a debate, Who would win in a battle between zombies and vampires? I argued for the vampires, and here's why.

As both vampires and zombies are undead, killing each other becomes a problem. Zombies, sure, could swarm a vampire and rip him apart. Edward, nooooo! But, in the more real and ancient vampire tales, the vampire can become a wolf or a bat. Thus, when the zombies begin to converge,all the intended victim would have to do would be a quick morph. Suddenly, he's flying, out of reach of the entirely earth-bound zombies.

Vampires would be naturally immune to the zombie disease, as all viruses deal with living cells. The vampire, having no living cells, would naturally have no reason to fear accidental infection. Even drinking zombie blood, which I doubt they would do in the first place, would not have an infectious effect because vampires just aren't human enough to get infected.

Also, vampires retain some semblance of humanity. At least, the cold logic part. Count Orlock, Count Dracula, and yes, let's go ahead and mention the Cullen clan, they all have the ability to behave normally and think rationally. Surely they would figure out that pesky bullet-to-the-brain technique. Zombies would never understand the stake thing (Maybe the zombies from Zombieland might.) And I know I have seen a movie where a vampire decapitates someone. I can't think of where, exactly, but somewhere, the supernaturally strong vampire ripped the head off of an opponent or victim. You may have seen this.

So, once the vampires killed off all the zombies, and the land purged itself of all zombie bacteria, the zombiepocalype would be over, and the humans would once again have seeming reign over all creation. This would give the vampires room to feed once more, not having to fight over territory or prey.

Happy for vampires. Either way, we regular humans are doomed.

Gestern habe ich ein Handy gekauft.

I bought a paygo from the Cricket place. It's like a dollar a day for the days I use. But it's also 10 cents a minute for long distance, and I phoned my grandparents in Texas today, so I should still have two dollars or so on there. I don't know how to check my balance on the stupid thing. I'll have to read the instruction manual.

You know, this really is an inane little update. Who among you cares? Why should I care? Cell phone, big whoop. Everybody has one nowadays.

Which is why Stephen King can write a book about a deadly cell phone. I haven't read the book, so I can't talk about it. But I have read "Misery" so I can talk about that.

It's one of the freakiest books I have ever read. Eee, and Kathy Bates was so insanely perfect as Annie Wilkes. I would describe some of the things she does to poor James Caan, but I don't want to give anything away. See the movie, people. It's wiggy.

I love Kathy Bates. I want her to be in one of my movies. She's so fun.

Anyway. End ramble.

This One is Actually Untitled! Bwa-ha!

Ich habe nichts zu sagen, ja?
Ja oder nein! Ich habe nichts.
Ich verstehe mich nicht.
Kennst du nie? Wissen Sie nicht?
Was denke ich? Was sage ich?
Vielleicht, wirklich,
Alles ist unglaublich!
Ich habe viele Personen gewesen.
Meine viele Leben... Ach, mich.

Ich würde auf Deutsch fluchen...
Wenn ich konnte.

"Bittersweet" --- a Rondeau

"It must be nice," the serpent sighed
Unto the young and guiltless bride,
"That though your tender skin is bare
As is your mindscape, you don't care!
But don't you hate your lack of pride?

Insist that you be dignified!
For what's the use of truth untried?
So ripe and juicy, hanging there...
It must be nice."

This foul advice the snake supplied.
It made the maiden turn aside,
Away from His despairing stare,
To bittersweet, enticing fare,
And reaching for the pome, she cried,
"It must be nice."

Vampire tourism has gotten rather big out in Forks, judging by the souveniers my sister and mother brought back. A t-shirt saying "Twilight Lounge." A roadsign saying "Welcome to Forks. Population 3562 Vampires 8.5." A magnet shaped like a ruby red apple with the word Seattle emblazoned across it. Okay, perhaps that last one is actually just for Seattle and the connection is entirely coincidental. But you never know.

I tell you what, this Edward vs Jacob thing may be getting just a wee bit out of hand. You're either on Team Edward or Team Jacob. Daph came back from having visited La Push, and she called it "stinky werewolf land" on her Facebook. This, by itself, seems rather innocuous, but the rivalry is getting somewhat vicious. I can just see it. The movie theater has two separate lines so no one starts anything. Hisses and taunts fly through the air. Team Edward throws an apple. Stuff gets started.

Sure, this all sounds insane. But when it happens, remember that I foretold it.

Frustrated Rage

Rage metaphysical, rage undeniable,
Rage wracking reason through,
Rage within and rage without,
Anger, ire, neon blue.

Psyche solid, psyche silk,
Psyche slipping the mental scene,
Psyche stagnant, psyche sick,
Slick psychosis, putrid green.

Useless hues, useless dudes,
Useless yammering fellow,
Useless, unyeilding. Useless, yuck,
Yelling yawp, I vomit yellow.

Cannot crawl and cannot climb,
Cannot counter, cannot flee,
Cannot call a cad a creeper,
Cannot reconcile "he" with "me."

Rage, unravel, rend and rue.
Yellow-green-insanity-blue.

You ever have one of those totally blank moments?

I'm having one right now.

I need to post something. Anything, really. I'm only at 11 and I need 20 at least before the end of this semester. I can't just leave it when I've got a wee bit of writer's block.

So! What to talk about? Hmmmmmm...

I suppose I'll talk about "Twilight." My mother and my sister are flying out today. Guess where they're going? You'll never guess. Well, I'll give you a clue. They are flying to Seattle, Washington. Take that, add it to the Meyers vampire novel, and what do you get?

My sister and mom are visiting Forks. The little nothing town in which "Twilight" is set. I refrain from passing judgement. I will say that I am jealous because I have always wanted to see the Pacific Northwest. Oregon, mostly, though I could never tell you just why. I suppose the Redwoods are a key factor. That, or the Native Americans from that area. I love the trickster Raven. And Coyote, though he's from a different area of North America. And Loki, though he's not from America at all. And Anansi... well, you get the drift. I love trickster characters.

Which is probably why I love Bruno Walton.

If you've never read the Bruno and Boots books, I would definitely suggest you do it before you get too old to appreciate the humor.